Final Day of 2008

Finally, this is the final day of 2008. And yet I haven't written my resolution(s). No idea. And this is always who I am. Be with the flow. Just let me end this year with twelve short memoirs that i've been through.

I barely breathed when it went down suddenly. I was in there, an elevator, which was not working properly. It was going up, but when it reached 5th floor, it sumhow fell down to second floor. When i was out, i realized how short my life could be. It was January.

February, I remember when i cursed life. I also remembered when i was being grateful for life i had. But either curse or being grateful, it never changed anything, it only made the journey of life tasted different. Well, i'd like to taste it with love, for it had changed the world. Meanwhile, I was still searching, for something I didn't even know.

I was standing at KL Tower on March 22, looking the scenery down below. I was amazed for life I had, for God had been so good to me. There I was, on my 25, giving my self a birthday present, a tour abroad. It was my first though, but at least I spent on my own.

I stood up waiting when i saw a black-blue SUV stopped in front of me. I saw you stepped down and looked at me. For couple seconds, we just stood there, starring at each other, having no idea what to do, just admiring one another. Was i could stop that moment, i'd surely do. That was the time, when i fell in love. Fool April I guessed.

I was so tired searching who I really was. I sumhow didn't know what I want for myself and when i knew, it was hard to bear. I wished I were an angel, at least i had wings to take me anywhere i want. Yeah it was May.

In a chilly weather of June, i felt happiness i never felt before. But, I couldn't stop wonder, was it really what I wanted?

I didn't wanna be squeezed. I wanted to be respected, as I respected you. I wanted you walked with me, not in front of me nor behind me. But indeed, i forgave you for every hard clutch you made on me during July.

Not much happened in August. I grew up, facing the reality that sumtimes shut me up but also put joke on my stomach. Not much, not much, or did i felt way too much?

It was a crossroad i had to take. I stood still for a quite long then i walked down the other path. It was hard for me, so was it for you. But the journey had led us to where we are now. I didn't regret what i had chosen, but still this heart wouldn't let you go. It was the end of September.

I found you in the beginning of October. You, who had lost for a while. Your presence came with thousand happiness. But then i understood, that this path didn't belong to us, no matter how hard I tried.

November. It was always you.

It was Christmas eve, it was near the end, but I was still who I was on the first day of this year. I had barely changed. Then it came to one conclusion, I had to be more grateful for what I was. There wasn't you there with me, but I knew, you were for me. There was no big wish I'd reached, but there were so many little dreams I conquered.