Future? Not Sure

2 p.m.
Waiting is sucks. There are couple problems but I can barely solve them because I have to wait. Yeah, I work in big team, and I have to wait other divisions do their part so that I can finish mine.

Meantime, I don’t have anything to do.

At 9 a.m this morning, my IM beeped, and I found it was my friend. She felt alone, no one to hold, no one’s beside. And most of all, she wasn’t sure bout her future. I guess all of us ever felt like that.

Yeah, maybe we are all the same. I do have friends. I do have best friends. I can share. But somehow, there is something I don’t tell. Maybe it’s my darkest secret. And this dark secret consumes me. I dunno how to handle but indeed, I can’t tell no one.

People listen to us, friends do hear us. But I feel they don’t really understand. No, I never blame them. In fact, I may do so.

I’m not sure what I’m gonna be, whom I’m going to be with. I’m not sure ‘bout my future. What will it brings me? I’ll never be able to predict the future. I don’t have any plan, bad side of me I guess. But once again, if I can say good things of me, I live for today, hehehehe…. (don’t try this at home!)

Yeah, if I keep asking myself or keep filling my head with those doubts, I will never be happy, rite? All I can do now, is doing everything I think it’s best with my best.

Cage in his film ever said , ‘Accepting that is not easy, but easy doesn’t come to grown-up’s life’. I think that is true. As long as I accept who I really am, who my friends and family really are, or whatever happen to me, and try to be positive all the time, I will be happy. No matter what the future brings me, I will face it with no fear.

So I just said to my friend “Have faith, have hope. As long as u have it, you’ll survive”. Then she said “It’s hard to still have hope when life doesn’t give any.” I thought, ‘yeah I guess she’s right this time’.

Anyone could help how to overcome this feeling?